I am so angry right now...punching the air, crying buckets full of tears, numb with grief.
The EVIL X has struck again... proving once more the bastard that he is..excuse my french.
As a part of our interim court orders, that we agreed and the family court of australia signed off on, my X took on the responsibility of paying the minimum payments on our joint credit card debt that we accrued during our marriage. He was supposed to be paying me child support but I forfeited half of my due child support for him to make these minimum payments...especially on the ones that were in my name.
I just found out yesterday that not only has he NOT been making the minimum payments for the past 7 months on these credit cards, but now my credit rating is shot and I have a strike against my name in australia which will make it difficult for me to rent a house, take out a loan, get a credit card, connect a home telephone service, etc etc. Even though as of this Friday, when the house settles, we will be able to pay off all the debts in full, the mark remains next to my name for the next 5 years...and there is NOTHING I can do about it.
It's like he is just trying to ruin me...I have been racking my brains to think of some appropriate revenge but alas I am too nice to post naked pictures of him on the internet...lol not that i have any!
It is so hard, to keep my head up when he just seems to be going out of his way to ruin me...Well, he may have just blown his chances of me bowing to his demands and moving back to australia with the kids for at least the next 5 years...Why would I move back there now...that things are going to be difficult for me to provide a proper life for my children. What does he want...me and the kids homeless and out on the streets...
As if my life isn't bad enough, someone who I really looked up to really shattered me the other day telling me my work and various projects on the internet (including
The EVIL X has struck again... proving once more the bastard that he is..excuse my french.
As a part of our interim court orders, that we agreed and the family court of australia signed off on, my X took on the responsibility of paying the minimum payments on our joint credit card debt that we accrued during our marriage. He was supposed to be paying me child support but I forfeited half of my due child support for him to make these minimum payments...especially on the ones that were in my name.
I just found out yesterday that not only has he NOT been making the minimum payments for the past 7 months on these credit cards, but now my credit rating is shot and I have a strike against my name in australia which will make it difficult for me to rent a house, take out a loan, get a credit card, connect a home telephone service, etc etc. Even though as of this Friday, when the house settles, we will be able to pay off all the debts in full, the mark remains next to my name for the next 5 years...and there is NOTHING I can do about it.
It's like he is just trying to ruin me...I have been racking my brains to think of some appropriate revenge but alas I am too nice to post naked pictures of him on the internet...lol not that i have any!
It is so hard, to keep my head up when he just seems to be going out of his way to ruin me...Well, he may have just blown his chances of me bowing to his demands and moving back to australia with the kids for at least the next 5 years...Why would I move back there now...that things are going to be difficult for me to provide a proper life for my children. What does he want...me and the kids homeless and out on the streets...
As if my life isn't bad enough, someone who I really looked up to really shattered me the other day telling me my work and various projects on the internet (including
) are all well and good but how can I help others if I can't help myself. She was referring to my smoking and the slowness of my own weight loss of late and my lack of interaction with my children. She believes my internet activities are taking up to much of my time and energy that should be going towards getting myself better, healthier, stronger emotionally, and spending more quality time with my children.
I have been under an enormous amount of pressure lately, as you all know...and I am sorry if emotionally I haven't been able to keep up with everything but I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water right now...and now I am a bad mother because I am trying to provide an income for me and the kids that will enable me to stay at home with them full time...I don't get it...I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's so hard to find a balance.
I have been under an enormous amount of pressure lately, as you all know...and I am sorry if emotionally I haven't been able to keep up with everything but I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water right now...and now I am a bad mother because I am trying to provide an income for me and the kids that will enable me to stay at home with them full time...I don't get it...I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's so hard to find a balance.
9 comments:
Long time reader, long time lurker, but I had to come out and say this to you: I'm so sorry you're going through all of this emotional turmoil with your ex. In that aspect, I cannot relate BUT I know that it is tough and it is a heavy burden to carry. More importantly, I came out of lurking to tell you that despite the fact that things are not perfect in your life, you do give a lot of hope and inspiration to a lot of us out there. We're all human, no one is perfect. Not you, not me, not the people who are quick to point out your short-comings, not anyone! So tell those nay-sayers to bug off and keep on doing what you do!
Hey Girlie, I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. Men can be real shits sometimes. Here in the states you can write a letter challenging bad marks on your credit report. If you send proof of your court agreements to the credit bureau it may help your case. It can't hurt. I'm sorry you've been put in this situation but this will too shall pass. I promise. Also, only you know if you are a good mother. Don't let someone else tell you if you're doing your job. If it's not true, don't put a lot of stock it. Hold your head up and move on. Screw 'em all!!! Sorry, got excited. Seriously, you are a strong, beautiful woman. You're gonna be fine.
You are Flabulous! Just remember that. I don't know how credit reports work in over there, but if I were you, I would write a letter to the credit bureau explaining the situation and include the agreement (if you have a signed agreement or a court order)if you can. This won't erase the bad marks, but it will help if you need car loan or house or even to rent an apartment (at least it would over here in the USA).
As far as letting whoever get you down, you have to decide what you are going to do and why and then you don't let others get in your way. Being a single mom is DAMN hard. I know because I raised my 24yo daughter all by my self with no help or child support.
So hang in there, do what YOU decide is best for your family and God Bless You for keeping us laughing!
I am the
AfterGirl
By all means contact the credit bureaus immediately. And remember to follow up, have copies of all your documents that you send them, etc. Dammit, that just sucks. And please don't let people get you down when they say you're spending too much time on your project and are ignoring your kids. Please. This idea that you must be in your kids' faces and constantly entertain them all the time has got to stop. (I get it from my husband, too.) Kids need to learn to entertain themselves with toys, books, art supplies and playing. Take care, we're all cheering for you!
You ex is an A-hole! He's not only hurting you but he's hurting his kids. Jerk! You must have documentation to back up that he was supposed to be making the payments ... so that ought to get you back on track with your creditors.
I hate to say this but just because official documents require the exes to do certain things doesn't mean that they will.
My dead beat X was required to cover our daughter on his health plan, pay for 50% out of pocket medical expenses, pay for 50% of extra things like lessons etc, pay child support (which isn't much) and he did NONE of those things.
He owes me hundreds of thousands in back child support.
My advice to you is that anything in your name from here on out you must take care of. Keep track of everything he was required to do and don't count on him following through.
I know lots of women (men too) that count on those child support payments and they always fator that into their budget. BIG MISTAKE. Don't ever count on that money. It's not always going to come through.
Especially if your X is a dead beat.
You're doing awesome!!!
Flabuless you are fabulous! I know where you can rent a house in The States with no credit check... run away! Seriously though, I've not been a Mom for long (15 months) but there's one thing I learned fast about being a full time care giver... you have to take care of yourself first. If smoking that cigarette helps you cope, then do it! I do. I'm not proud of the fact, and I know I need to work on that, but one thing at a time for me. The person who said that stuff about YOUR life.... do they have kids? Have they ever had a weight problem? Have they ever had an insane X to deal with? My guess is no. Completely disregard what that person said. CARRY ON! or All Forward! as is my personal saying. Just don't quit! Don't give up! Get mad, get angry and use that energy to be productive. Move forward even if you have to stomp a hole through the floor with every step. Your kids will be grateful in the end that their Mom was strong enough to push through the BS and they'll grow up NOT taking crap from stupid people.
Hope you are okay over there!
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