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Monday, May 5, 2008
Monday, September 24, 2007
Major Website Move
Just giving you the up and up! Shortly I will be moving the entire Finding Flabuless site over to Wordpress so there will be major changes to the design and layout ...lol It will take me awhile to settle into the new digs so if the site starts looking a bit strange...you will know what is going on! I am hoping to have the new design live before December this year. In the meantime there will be an interim design but never fear...it will not stop me from posting.
I have been having serious talks to my therapist and close friends about removing the 'STRESS' from my life...so I am in the process of 'removing the fluff' or so to speak and knuckling down on a few things that I am passionate about.
One, as I have already mentioned is getting my personal website more user friendly,
Two is finishing and publishing my book which my newly revamped blogsite will promote and hopefully sell!!! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge),
Three is putting my scary business women hat on and making some heads roll in relation to my
I have been having serious talks to my therapist and close friends about removing the 'STRESS' from my life...so I am in the process of 'removing the fluff' or so to speak and knuckling down on a few things that I am passionate about.
One, as I have already mentioned is getting my personal website more user friendly,
Two is finishing and publishing my book which my newly revamped blogsite will promote and hopefully sell!!! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge),
Three is putting my scary business women hat on and making some heads roll in relation to my
site...I want it finished and I want it finished NOW...stamp my foot and put my lip...hehehe thank goodness you guys most likely will never have to meet THAT side of Flabuless, she can be a little intimidating!
And whilst I am doing all the above I will also be chipping away at finishing the flabtv concept which, incidentally, has actually had a total overhaul and revamp...even the name and branding has changed but more on that later! and my other passion a webforum for sufferers of hypothyroidism which is in the works also.
You are probably all thinking...gosh and this is your way of REMOVING the stress...well put it this way I had about 5 more things that I was trying to work on at the same time...so I have had to discipline myself (cause i tend to take on more than I can chew) and set these on the back burner until I have completed these first 5.
I am getting my 'me space' organised...an area/desk/office for working...so no more laptop on my knee watching TV hehe! This alone is proving motivating just setting aside an area to work that doesn't have toys, clothes and half eaten food covering it!
See I told you I would plan out my life in the next couple of days. So ask me again...Where do I see myself in 12 months.
Well, that's EASY:
I am a published author and the Finding Flabuless website will be receiving over 100,000 unique visits a month,
SizeXchange is up and running and rocking -- fast catching up to ebay in the affordable transient clothing market
I will be travelling and speaking to women all over the world encouraging and motivating them in their weight loss journey.
I will be further encouraging and connecting dieters through my flabtv/???? (ssshh....to be revealed) and hypothyroid websites.
What do you reckon? Will you be here in a year to see how far I got? What about you...where will you be in a year?
xxxx flabuless
And whilst I am doing all the above I will also be chipping away at finishing the flabtv concept which, incidentally, has actually had a total overhaul and revamp...even the name and branding has changed but more on that later! and my other passion a webforum for sufferers of hypothyroidism which is in the works also.
You are probably all thinking...gosh and this is your way of REMOVING the stress...well put it this way I had about 5 more things that I was trying to work on at the same time...so I have had to discipline myself (cause i tend to take on more than I can chew) and set these on the back burner until I have completed these first 5.
I am getting my 'me space' organised...an area/desk/office for working...so no more laptop on my knee watching TV hehe! This alone is proving motivating just setting aside an area to work that doesn't have toys, clothes and half eaten food covering it!
See I told you I would plan out my life in the next couple of days. So ask me again...Where do I see myself in 12 months.
Well, that's EASY:
I am a published author and the Finding Flabuless website will be receiving over 100,000 unique visits a month,
SizeXchange is up and running and rocking -- fast catching up to ebay in the affordable transient clothing market
I will be travelling and speaking to women all over the world encouraging and motivating them in their weight loss journey.
I will be further encouraging and connecting dieters through my flabtv/???? (ssshh....to be revealed) and hypothyroid websites.
What do you reckon? Will you be here in a year to see how far I got? What about you...where will you be in a year?
xxxx flabuless
Conversations with a friend
I was talking to my friend today about the book I am writing 'The Lighter Side of Large' ( based on my cartoon series) and how it was turned down early last year ago by a couple of publishers because it was seemingly too Politically Incorrect and could be used to laugh at 'fat' people instead of encourage and inspire as is my intention. She had some interesting and poignant thoughts which I wanted to share with you all:
...over the last six months to a year the market - as it always does - has trended to more "fat friendly" status. People, while they are gearing down for healthier living and even obese to morbidly obese people are buckling down to "get healthy" - are not so skittish or embarrassed to talk about the "elephant in the room" - meaning, themselves and their extra poundage.
From a sexy group of four plus-sized gals getting rave reviews on "America's Got Talent" to Oprah FINALLY getting comfortable in her own skin to formerly skinny - to fat - now to in shape act ress Kirstie Alley losing weight in the public eye for Jenny Craig - more and more "average" to more than just a little bit fleshy women are starting to realize that the core of who they are - their true spirit - is more important than meeting their ideal body face to face.
Weight is bad and being overweight can literally kill you. Because of that and the increased risk to shortening your life to do great things - it is important for each of us to honor who we are on the inside by honoring who we are on the outside. Inside we are all unique individuals given a special place by God on this earth, a select mission only we can complete and every skill, talent and ability necessary to do the job well. Outside, we often betray the goodness of our spirit with the lies we have been told and that we have let ourselves believe and reinforce through our own behaviours. Fat is nothing more than a fib or a lie we are wearing.
In our internal conversations we need to move from saying to ourselves "I wish I were" or "one day" to a powerful "today I am" message about the awesomeness of who you are - at any age or size - to the people you love and who love you. That is turning the formerly "embarassing" into the empowering.
To lose the weight one has to be content where they are - and let go of the past...from that place of contentment they have to have the courage and confidence to move forward to get their outside matching their inside...and perhaps even their inside matchin g who God ORIGINALLY designed for them to be.
HERE HERE! Couldn't have said it better myself! But what do you all think? Do you Agree?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Evil X's
I am so angry right now...punching the air, crying buckets full of tears, numb with grief.
The EVIL X has struck again... proving once more the bastard that he is..excuse my french.
As a part of our interim court orders, that we agreed and the family court of australia signed off on, my X took on the responsibility of paying the minimum payments on our joint credit card debt that we accrued during our marriage. He was supposed to be paying me child support but I forfeited half of my due child support for him to make these minimum payments...especially on the ones that were in my name.
I just found out yesterday that not only has he NOT been making the minimum payments for the past 7 months on these credit cards, but now my credit rating is shot and I have a strike against my name in australia which will make it difficult for me to rent a house, take out a loan, get a credit card, connect a home telephone service, etc etc. Even though as of this Friday, when the house settles, we will be able to pay off all the debts in full, the mark remains next to my name for the next 5 years...and there is NOTHING I can do about it.
It's like he is just trying to ruin me...I have been racking my brains to think of some appropriate revenge but alas I am too nice to post naked pictures of him on the internet...lol not that i have any!
It is so hard, to keep my head up when he just seems to be going out of his way to ruin me...Well, he may have just blown his chances of me bowing to his demands and moving back to australia with the kids for at least the next 5 years...Why would I move back there now...that things are going to be difficult for me to provide a proper life for my children. What does he want...me and the kids homeless and out on the streets...
As if my life isn't bad enough, someone who I really looked up to really shattered me the other day telling me my work and various projects on the internet (including
The EVIL X has struck again... proving once more the bastard that he is..excuse my french.
As a part of our interim court orders, that we agreed and the family court of australia signed off on, my X took on the responsibility of paying the minimum payments on our joint credit card debt that we accrued during our marriage. He was supposed to be paying me child support but I forfeited half of my due child support for him to make these minimum payments...especially on the ones that were in my name.
I just found out yesterday that not only has he NOT been making the minimum payments for the past 7 months on these credit cards, but now my credit rating is shot and I have a strike against my name in australia which will make it difficult for me to rent a house, take out a loan, get a credit card, connect a home telephone service, etc etc. Even though as of this Friday, when the house settles, we will be able to pay off all the debts in full, the mark remains next to my name for the next 5 years...and there is NOTHING I can do about it.
It's like he is just trying to ruin me...I have been racking my brains to think of some appropriate revenge but alas I am too nice to post naked pictures of him on the internet...lol not that i have any!
It is so hard, to keep my head up when he just seems to be going out of his way to ruin me...Well, he may have just blown his chances of me bowing to his demands and moving back to australia with the kids for at least the next 5 years...Why would I move back there now...that things are going to be difficult for me to provide a proper life for my children. What does he want...me and the kids homeless and out on the streets...
As if my life isn't bad enough, someone who I really looked up to really shattered me the other day telling me my work and various projects on the internet (including
) are all well and good but how can I help others if I can't help myself. She was referring to my smoking and the slowness of my own weight loss of late and my lack of interaction with my children. She believes my internet activities are taking up to much of my time and energy that should be going towards getting myself better, healthier, stronger emotionally, and spending more quality time with my children.
I have been under an enormous amount of pressure lately, as you all know...and I am sorry if emotionally I haven't been able to keep up with everything but I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water right now...and now I am a bad mother because I am trying to provide an income for me and the kids that will enable me to stay at home with them full time...I don't get it...I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's so hard to find a balance.
I have been under an enormous amount of pressure lately, as you all know...and I am sorry if emotionally I haven't been able to keep up with everything but I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water right now...and now I am a bad mother because I am trying to provide an income for me and the kids that will enable me to stay at home with them full time...I don't get it...I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. It's so hard to find a balance.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Another Pound Bites The Dust
Ok...so got back on the scales today...the good news is that it is still moving in the right direction...haven't quite got back to where I was when I started writing this blog, in February this year, (239lbs) but I am getting there. From there...I will be truly back on track cause then I will start seeing numbers I haven't seen in about 10 years. I am just backtracking really at the moment to get back to that starting point again.
When the scales are going the right way its kind of exciting isn't it. I love hopping on the scales knowing that it will have gone down and not up. The only way I can ensure this is to really make sure I am watching what I eat..and not CHEAT.
You will be happy to know I haven't had my naughty indulgence...Carrot Cake with lots a cream in over a week now...so I am doing REALLY well. hehe Emotionally I am also doing fine. Trying to catch up now on all my responsibilities both online and off line. I have about 5 projects that I am doing for or in conjunction with others. This last month has really put my schedule right OUT. I have been so unorganised and now I am desperately trying to catch up.
My Therapist and I have been talking extensively about protecting myself from stress and not taking more on that I can chew...Great advise, really, for someone desperately trying to claw themselves out of the depression of just a few weeks ago.
Well, I had to let a couple of people down...which I feel absolutely awful about but there were other things, in terms of my relationship with one of them also that was adding to the stress. I got to the point where enough was enough and I needed to protect myself and my children cause we are number 1 after all. I hate confrontation, and I hate letting people down even more. In a different time and space I may have been able to work through the relationship issues and moved passed it...but at the moment I am more than a bit ahhh 'fragile'. As much as I hate saying that...Its a side of me I don't like people knowing about...lol.
Now, I much prefer y'all thinking I am a sturdy, independent, 'just do it' kind of person. But, I guess, everyone has there vulnerabilities.
I have really struggled with being so honest in my blog...about all this. Because I don't want to dishearten or un-motivate anyone else. I see you all as friends so for that reason I am an open-book. Its not how I would want to be remembered...this fragile, uncertain person, still, its ALL a part of my own journey. To walk the road, truly, with me you need to know my struggles as well as victories. Have I told you lately...Thank you? I am so blessed to have such a supportive group of friends like you guys...
What are your greatest struggles, in your personal life or weight-loss?
When the scales are going the right way its kind of exciting isn't it. I love hopping on the scales knowing that it will have gone down and not up. The only way I can ensure this is to really make sure I am watching what I eat..and not CHEAT.
You will be happy to know I haven't had my naughty indulgence...Carrot Cake with lots a cream in over a week now...so I am doing REALLY well. hehe Emotionally I am also doing fine. Trying to catch up now on all my responsibilities both online and off line. I have about 5 projects that I am doing for or in conjunction with others. This last month has really put my schedule right OUT. I have been so unorganised and now I am desperately trying to catch up.
My Therapist and I have been talking extensively about protecting myself from stress and not taking more on that I can chew...Great advise, really, for someone desperately trying to claw themselves out of the depression of just a few weeks ago.
Well, I had to let a couple of people down...which I feel absolutely awful about but there were other things, in terms of my relationship with one of them also that was adding to the stress. I got to the point where enough was enough and I needed to protect myself and my children cause we are number 1 after all. I hate confrontation, and I hate letting people down even more. In a different time and space I may have been able to work through the relationship issues and moved passed it...but at the moment I am more than a bit ahhh 'fragile'. As much as I hate saying that...Its a side of me I don't like people knowing about...lol.
Now, I much prefer y'all thinking I am a sturdy, independent, 'just do it' kind of person. But, I guess, everyone has there vulnerabilities.
I have really struggled with being so honest in my blog...about all this. Because I don't want to dishearten or un-motivate anyone else. I see you all as friends so for that reason I am an open-book. Its not how I would want to be remembered...this fragile, uncertain person, still, its ALL a part of my own journey. To walk the road, truly, with me you need to know my struggles as well as victories. Have I told you lately...Thank you? I am so blessed to have such a supportive group of friends like you guys...
What are your greatest struggles, in your personal life or weight-loss?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
The Act of Gaining
I was going to record a flabvlog tonight but my computer is not playing nicely...So I have resigned myself to writing a post.
I am the mother of all procrastinators... truly! I have known, for some time now, that I had to fill in some forms in time for the 31st August but I have procrastinated to the point that it is probably too late now...grrrr. I will be under 'disciplinary' action too...which is the worst thing. I am supposed to do them every year before that date. But every blinking time I sit down to do it I find something else distracts me...I guess deep down I just don't want to do them...lol But, as my daddy used to tell me "sometimes we have to do what we don't want to do"...I used to hate that saying. It is funny though that, as a mom, I find myself repeating it to my kids...grrrrr! History repeats itself.
So do we really WANT to lose weight. I have been asking myself that question, what does it mean to truly want something? I want to be healthy, I want to be slim, I want to be fit...but I can't say I really WANT to lose weight...unfortunately you can't have the former without the latter. They are all intimately linked. By its essence the act of 'losing' weight has some negative connotations...when you lose something it is usually bad, frustrating, like when you loose your keys, or your purse. True, in the advent of shows like 'The Biggest Loser' and 'Losin' It', pop culture has fashioned our minds into thinking that being a 'loser' or loosing weight is the way to go. But have we forgotten that losing is the OPPOSITE of winning. At its very core, the act of 'losing' weight is like we are losing a part of ourselves...a big part of ourselves for some of us.
Thinking this, for me, automatically places a barrier or boundary in my mind. Perhaps I should change my mindset and internal conversation from being in the act of 'losing' to gaining. I am gaining health, gaining a great body, gaining attractiveness, gaining life, gaining freedom.
Hi, my name is Flabuless and I'm a proud 'Gainer'...lol I guess I am just rambling...cause I can't think of anything better to do...since I am supposed to be doing something else...still...its been fun.
I am the mother of all procrastinators... truly! I have known, for some time now, that I had to fill in some forms in time for the 31st August but I have procrastinated to the point that it is probably too late now...grrrr. I will be under 'disciplinary' action too...which is the worst thing. I am supposed to do them every year before that date. But every blinking time I sit down to do it I find something else distracts me...I guess deep down I just don't want to do them...lol But, as my daddy used to tell me "sometimes we have to do what we don't want to do"...I used to hate that saying. It is funny though that, as a mom, I find myself repeating it to my kids...grrrrr! History repeats itself.
So do we really WANT to lose weight. I have been asking myself that question, what does it mean to truly want something? I want to be healthy, I want to be slim, I want to be fit...but I can't say I really WANT to lose weight...unfortunately you can't have the former without the latter. They are all intimately linked. By its essence the act of 'losing' weight has some negative connotations...when you lose something it is usually bad, frustrating, like when you loose your keys, or your purse. True, in the advent of shows like 'The Biggest Loser' and 'Losin' It', pop culture has fashioned our minds into thinking that being a 'loser' or loosing weight is the way to go. But have we forgotten that losing is the OPPOSITE of winning. At its very core, the act of 'losing' weight is like we are losing a part of ourselves...a big part of ourselves for some of us.
Thinking this, for me, automatically places a barrier or boundary in my mind. Perhaps I should change my mindset and internal conversation from being in the act of 'losing' to gaining. I am gaining health, gaining a great body, gaining attractiveness, gaining life, gaining freedom.
Hi, my name is Flabuless and I'm a proud 'Gainer'...lol I guess I am just rambling...cause I can't think of anything better to do...since I am supposed to be doing something else...still...its been fun.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Website Page Move
Hi guys...Just letting you know that the blog is proving so popular I am moving it to the front page of the site...No biggie, but it just means to get to it you will only need to type in www.findingflabuless.com. Instead of getting to it via www.findingflabuless.com/blog. The move will probably effect your RSS feed if you are subscribed. If you are subscribed via feedburner then I will fix this so that nothing will change for feedburner subscribers. I am going to try and redirect traffic using the /blog ending to the front page so that I wont loose you guys...but just thought I'd give you the up and up if you notice the change. I will be doing a proper post tonight....I have something up my sleeve that I think you guys will really appreciate....ohhhhh how exciting...lol you will just have to wait and see.
xxFlabuless
xxFlabuless
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Chubby Sex
Apparently, Chubby Sex is one of the highest searched keywords on google. Don't ask me my source...lol...No, No don't worry its not me. For me personally, naked or scantily dressed 'horizontally challenged' (ie FAT) women (or men, for that matter) do not really appeal.
I must admit, I look at them with more than a little disgust...yea, yea before you jump down my throat and tell me how hypocritical I am... YES I know I look like...that! (I am reminded of it on the odd occasion when I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror after bathing...which I try to avoid...like the plague) But I cannot for the life of me understand why men would like to look at images of a big fat momma looking ridiculously haughty showing off her bits to the world and think its SEXY, now just so that we are clear...I am talking about soft porn here.
I love the human body...I have mentioned that quite a few times before, you know the taut, chiselled, six pack version's...but a FAT human body is sort of hard to get an eyeful of...Perhaps what makes me so abhorrent of such pictures...is that, they all remind me of someone (ie MOI)...and I HATE that particular reminder, which is why my eyes avoid the mirror when I am naked. But more importantly, maybe I am also a little threatened by big people that are sexy and know they are SEXY cause I perhaps have lost that same confidence in myself...but still...as a single mom, with 2 children is there really any need to 'Feel Sexy'? I don't have a man in my life nor am I likely too for some time. I can tell you, It's been a LONG time since I put my SEXY clothes on, plastered myself with makeup and went out for a night on the town with the sole intention of giving some unsuspecting guy a 'smouldering look'...Yea you know the one girls!!!.
The closest I get to feeling sexy, now, is when I have one of those few and far between 'DRY' dreams, YOU KNOW the ones where you wake up and realise you were dry humping the pillow...oops did I say that. Perhaps it is my subconscious telling me that, on some level, I should get in-touch with my SEXY side again. How important is feeling 'sexy' to you?
I must admit, I look at them with more than a little disgust...yea, yea before you jump down my throat and tell me how hypocritical I am... YES I know I look like...that! (I am reminded of it on the odd occasion when I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror after bathing...which I try to avoid...like the plague) But I cannot for the life of me understand why men would like to look at images of a big fat momma looking ridiculously haughty showing off her bits to the world and think its SEXY, now just so that we are clear...I am talking about soft porn here.
I love the human body...I have mentioned that quite a few times before, you know the taut, chiselled, six pack version's...but a FAT human body is sort of hard to get an eyeful of...Perhaps what makes me so abhorrent of such pictures...is that, they all remind me of someone (ie MOI)...and I HATE that particular reminder, which is why my eyes avoid the mirror when I am naked. But more importantly, maybe I am also a little threatened by big people that are sexy and know they are SEXY cause I perhaps have lost that same confidence in myself...but still...as a single mom, with 2 children is there really any need to 'Feel Sexy'? I don't have a man in my life nor am I likely too for some time. I can tell you, It's been a LONG time since I put my SEXY clothes on, plastered myself with makeup and went out for a night on the town with the sole intention of giving some unsuspecting guy a 'smouldering look'...Yea you know the one girls!!!.
The closest I get to feeling sexy, now, is when I have one of those few and far between 'DRY' dreams, YOU KNOW the ones where you wake up and realise you were dry humping the pillow...oops did I say that. Perhaps it is my subconscious telling me that, on some level, I should get in-touch with my SEXY side again. How important is feeling 'sexy' to you?
Down Scales DOWN!
Ok, so after putting on soooooo...much weight, this week I have REALLY been making a concerted effort...I have been eating...less...walking more and finally I am seeing some results. ok so maybe only
1lb
but its something!...I can do SOOOO...much more if I want to see some huge results. For instance, the walks have been a little more sedate whilst I get back into things and the eating less...I could choose even MORE carefully what is nutritionally good for me and what is not...but for now I am at peace...The scales are going in the RIGHT direction, after all this time. So just you wait...finding flabuless might be just around the corner for me...How about you? How are you all going with your journey?
xx Flabulicious ME!
xx Flabulicious ME!
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